So, I'm still pretending to be Rumpleteazer. Still working. Still mostly enjoying work, for a wonderment. Actually hanging out with friends every now and again. Discovering that I really like baking, especially if I can blast showtunes and dance around while I do so. Working the theater again, as a stage manager. The director is someone who actually likes me, too, so hopefully I'll get to finish this one. Finally got around to both cleaning my room, and actually hanging stuff on the walls. Ran across a collection of the songs Hugh Laurie sang when he was still doing A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Laughed hysterically at "Little Girl." Still as funny five hundred times later... Re-watched a handful of movies, which led to me finally figuring out part of why I have such unrealistic expectations for romance. Shrugged it off and went on dreaming. At this point in my life, I'm all right with holding out for the Baron, really. (If you don't get the reference, go watch The Cat Returns. It's fabulous.)The fun part about expectations is that they can always be lowered later in life... And on that depressingly cynical note...
I feel the need to babble further about Rumpleteazer. So. The thing about Cats is that it was based off of a T.S. Elliot book called "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats", which is a collection of poems about the various different types of Jellicles. All Andrew Lloyd Webber did was to take those poems (along with a couple others not in the book, such as Grizabella's song, mainly to give the illusion of a story.) and turn them into songs , which he strung together into a semi-story that all takes place over the course of a day. Which is all very well and good, until you realize that leaves idiots like me with absolutely no back story. Now, I've more or less created my own (killing off random characters as it suited me. I'm mean to my characters...), but it makes it A: difficult to explain to people who haven't read the poems and B: way too easy to Mary-Sue. And while I think I've managed to avoid that for the most part, I don't really like the feeling that it could happen at any point. And the sad thing here is that only people who actually know me would be able to tell, since they'd be the only ones who could possibly notice that Teazer's manner and style of talking/writing matches mine almost perfectly. Having said that, though, I actually don't think she and I are all that alike. Admittedly, there are some very similar speech patterns (go figure), but she is a lot more open and loving than I could ever be, and far better at living her life. She's a lot better with people, which is sort of sad, considering she didn't meet a human until she was midway through her teens (Sort of. Ages are tricky, because of what I've done with them.), and she spent years of her life on the run from a monster (more on that later) and able to trust basically no one, then her own family kicked her out because of said monster, and she's still better at meeting new people than me. Says a lot about the both of us, really...
So, a couple of backstory bits. First, the age thing. The thing is, I'm working with three different numbers here, and I'm not really sure which one is accurate, or even what one of them should be. See, there's cat years, and human years, and whatever the deal is with Jellicles and their aging process. Now according to Teazer's Facebook page, her birthday is May 24, 1987. This is the birthday she officially picked for things like applying for a job/ getting a licence/ all the other human stuff you'd need a birthday for. She picked it because the date meant something to her (Presumably, anyway. I'm not really sure yet.), not because it had anything to do with when she was actually born. Officially, therefore, in "human years" she is twenty three years old. Okay. Then you've got the cat years. Cats, obviously, don't keep track of when they were born. Dates aren't really important, and they don't celebrate birthdays. In cat years, though, she'd be roughly three and a half years old. Jellicles, meanwhile, have an entirely different way of looking at things. Basically, they don't celebrate birthdays or keep track of dates, much like cats. However, they celebrate important moments. For example, the first time a kitten goes out into the human world, in search (usually) of a job. They put a lot of stock in independence, and in the ability to make one's own way in the world, but also in how one fits with the family. So numbers are tricky.
Then there's the matter of the... whatever it was that attacked her and prompted my entire story. And that's the thing. I haven't the faintest idea of what the beast actually was. *sigh*
Anyway, I am officially rambling, and I've been writing this post for literally weeks now, so I'm going to shut up.
Goddess Bless,
Charlotte
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Rumpleteazer
So. How long has it been since I've been on this thing? A while, I'm pretty sure... So here's what's bugging me this time (isn't that always how it turns out. I don't remember the last time I wrote happy stuff... Oh, well.)
I recently caved and joined the community of role-players on Facebook. (Not that kind of roleplay. Get your mind out of the gutter, child...) It seemed like a cool idea at the time, for a couple of reasons.
One: No one really talks to me.
Disclaimer time: that's not strictly true. Shannon, Griff, Shebby, Cally when she has time, etc. I do actually talk to people, far more than I used to. But. I'm speaking only of Facebook right now, simply because I can.
Two: The role-players are, with a very few exceptions, far more entertaining than the real world people I'm Facebook friends with.
Again, speaking about Facebook. Geeze...
Three: Some days I'm just plain tired of being me, and want to pretend to be someone else for a while.
No disclaimer here, that one is just flat truth.
Four: I love the character I chose. Seriously, she's all adorable and fluffy and stuff...
"So what's the problem?" (I hear you yell...)
The problem is that I am a T.S. Elliot character stuck in a land of Marvel and D.C. Which is all very well and good, until you realize that nobody knows who Rumpleteazer is. So no one talks to her, and she doesn't really fit in anywhere, and... Crap. Suddenly I'm right back where I started, huh?
So what do I do? I talk to people, who either reply or they don't, and if they do, I'll continue talking to them. I write bits and pieces of stories, mainly for myself, to explain Teazer's past. I watch as characters move from house to house, mingling together, while I... sort of hover in the aether, actually. And, slowly, I learn to communicate with people. Because Charlotte? Yeah, she's not so good at that. I think one of the things I love most about Rumpleteazer is that when she's sad (which is a lot, really. I'm pretty mean to my characters, even when they're only borrowed) she can cry, and if there's someone else around, she can let them see her cry, and let them try to comfort her if they're so inclined. I've never been able to do that, and I envy her the ability. Through Teazer, I can talk to people I don't know, and I can see the world (or a world) through the eyes of someone who can reach out to people. And I think that's good for me... sorta.
Did this post have a point? Not really. If anything, it was a way for me to justify hanging on to Teazer for a while longer. And possibly as a method of explaining why I'm almost never on Facebook anymore.
In short (too late) sometimes I wish I could step over into the world of the role-players. I wish that I was brave enough for Teazer to be brave enough for her to be able to talk to people, more so than she has been. I wish I didn't need a hypothetical cat to make me feel brave. I wish that I could just end this entry, instead of dragging it on and on and on... Well, one wish can come true, anyway.
Goddess bless,
Charlotte
I recently caved and joined the community of role-players on Facebook. (Not that kind of roleplay. Get your mind out of the gutter, child...) It seemed like a cool idea at the time, for a couple of reasons.
One: No one really talks to me.
Disclaimer time: that's not strictly true. Shannon, Griff, Shebby, Cally when she has time, etc. I do actually talk to people, far more than I used to. But. I'm speaking only of Facebook right now, simply because I can.
Two: The role-players are, with a very few exceptions, far more entertaining than the real world people I'm Facebook friends with.
Again, speaking about Facebook. Geeze...
Three: Some days I'm just plain tired of being me, and want to pretend to be someone else for a while.
No disclaimer here, that one is just flat truth.
Four: I love the character I chose. Seriously, she's all adorable and fluffy and stuff...
"So what's the problem?" (I hear you yell...)
The problem is that I am a T.S. Elliot character stuck in a land of Marvel and D.C. Which is all very well and good, until you realize that nobody knows who Rumpleteazer is. So no one talks to her, and she doesn't really fit in anywhere, and... Crap. Suddenly I'm right back where I started, huh?
So what do I do? I talk to people, who either reply or they don't, and if they do, I'll continue talking to them. I write bits and pieces of stories, mainly for myself, to explain Teazer's past. I watch as characters move from house to house, mingling together, while I... sort of hover in the aether, actually. And, slowly, I learn to communicate with people. Because Charlotte? Yeah, she's not so good at that. I think one of the things I love most about Rumpleteazer is that when she's sad (which is a lot, really. I'm pretty mean to my characters, even when they're only borrowed) she can cry, and if there's someone else around, she can let them see her cry, and let them try to comfort her if they're so inclined. I've never been able to do that, and I envy her the ability. Through Teazer, I can talk to people I don't know, and I can see the world (or a world) through the eyes of someone who can reach out to people. And I think that's good for me... sorta.
Did this post have a point? Not really. If anything, it was a way for me to justify hanging on to Teazer for a while longer. And possibly as a method of explaining why I'm almost never on Facebook anymore.
In short (too late) sometimes I wish I could step over into the world of the role-players. I wish that I was brave enough for Teazer to be brave enough for her to be able to talk to people, more so than she has been. I wish I didn't need a hypothetical cat to make me feel brave. I wish that I could just end this entry, instead of dragging it on and on and on... Well, one wish can come true, anyway.
Goddess bless,
Charlotte
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Friendship, I Guess
First things first. Cuckoo's Nest is AWESOME. And also extending another week. Which I'm not sure I'm happy about, but whatever. Anyway. Couple Dating is going to be very good, I think, as it's rather funny, and you should all come see it. Dooooo iiiiittttt... You know you want to. Moving right along... So, a few days ago, I was rather bored. Now, when I'm bored I either draw or write, and I was pretty much doodled out at that point, so I just picked a starting point and went. I wound up writing almost four pages... It's a bit rough, but I think it has potential, so I'm going to post it here because... Well, just because I bloody well can.
Friendship
Friendship is an interesting thing. It's a word, a term, a description of something that can't be described. To say "Oh, we're friends" is truly one of the most confusing ways to describe a relationship possible, because there are about six million definitions and connotations of the word "friend", and no real way to specify without going into an impressive monologue every time someone asks you if you know someone. Drawing purely from my own experience, I can name at least ten different versions of "friend", and if asked about any one of them, I would be forced to reply with the standard "Well, we're friends." However, there are huge differences, from one person to the next, what the definition of friendship is. For example, Teresa. (Author's Note: Names are not changed to protect the innocent, mainly because I don't know any innocents. However, I won't use last names, and will change a name to an alias if requested. And tipped heavily, naturally.) When I say Teresa is my friend, I mean that we've known each other since forever; that I'd trust her with not only my life, but with my secrets; that we can talk on the phone for hours about absolute nonsense; that we're more like sisters than friends; and that I sometimes think she can read my mind. (Seriously. How else would she know exactly what I'm talking about when I say something along the lines of "Remember that one movie? The one with the actor in it, that guy with the hair? What was it called?" Fairly sure she actually got the name of the movie that time, too... Scary.) Entirely on the other end of the spectrum, you have theater friendships. Now, I don't know if it's different between actors, but tech to actor, or even tech to tech, tends not to work. I've done three plays in Central Oregon now, and the pattern is pretty clear. I started with Steel Magnolias. We had a fabulous time, we all wound up pretty close (I've never seen so many exchanged gifts during a show), and we all swore up and down that we'd keep in touch. Okay. So far so good. The thing is, I'm still regularly in contact with exactly one person from that show, and I think that it's mostly because she was in the next show I did, and because she's directing the next thing I'm doing. While I do talk to Truvy every once in a while, it always winds up rather awkward and stilted, and we never really manage to talk about anything interesting. The next play I did was Harvey. Aside from Susan, the carry-over from Steel Magnolias, I don't talk to anyone from that cast, ever. Currently, I'm teching Cuckoo's Nest, and I can tell you now that I'm going to lose track of most, if not all, of them once it's over. The majority I don't really talk to now, so skipping over them, we have Turkle, Candy, and McMurphy. Turkle I'll hopefully keep in contact with, since he mentioned wanting to use me in a photoshoot. (He's a rather good photographer, so I'm good with it. Hopefully I can get some good shots of myself out of the deal.) Candy has been driving me home, which is part of the reason we actually talk, but we seem to have enough in common that we could theoretically keep in touch after the loony bin closes its doors. As for McMurphy... I don't know. Todd's a difficult one to categorize. I've known him since just before Steel Magnolias, technically (he helped set build, I helped paint), but I don't really know him any better than the rest of the loonies. The thing about Todd is, he's one of the most big hearted people I know. So yeah, he'll give me hugs (when I beg for them. At least he's not laughing at me for it anymore, or not to my face anyway...), and he's generally pretty nice, but when it comes right down to it? Once this is over, we're right back to "he knows me, but he doesn't recognize me..."
At this point, whatever was boring me had ended, so I just stopped writing. A few days after that (so, you know, yesterday.) I decided to condense all my friends down into categories.
Class one: People I've known forever, people I could tell anything.
Class two: What most people would refer to as "best friends." The people I would call if I needed a hug, or someone to talk to.
Class three: Immediate family. Pets.
Class four: Celebrities. People I don't actually know, but I use their movies to cheer myself up, so... It counts. Also includes fictional characters.
Class five: Distant family, and people adopted as family.
Class six: Long distance friends, people met at college, people I see once in a blue moon.
Class seven: Theater friends. Anyone met through the theater who doesn't fit into another category. People I enjoy spending time around, but no guarantees I'll see them after shows close.
Class eight: Facebook friends. Anyone I'm "friends" with on Facebook, but don't really talk to in real life.
Class nine: My head people. The voices in my head, who have gotten me through an awful lot.
So there you have it. The ramblings of a mostly unfiltered mind. Return to what you were doing, since I'm sure it was more interesting than me, and I will see you later... My friend.
~Charlotte the Pirate
Friendship
Friendship is an interesting thing. It's a word, a term, a description of something that can't be described. To say "Oh, we're friends" is truly one of the most confusing ways to describe a relationship possible, because there are about six million definitions and connotations of the word "friend", and no real way to specify without going into an impressive monologue every time someone asks you if you know someone. Drawing purely from my own experience, I can name at least ten different versions of "friend", and if asked about any one of them, I would be forced to reply with the standard "Well, we're friends." However, there are huge differences, from one person to the next, what the definition of friendship is. For example, Teresa. (Author's Note: Names are not changed to protect the innocent, mainly because I don't know any innocents. However, I won't use last names, and will change a name to an alias if requested. And tipped heavily, naturally.) When I say Teresa is my friend, I mean that we've known each other since forever; that I'd trust her with not only my life, but with my secrets; that we can talk on the phone for hours about absolute nonsense; that we're more like sisters than friends; and that I sometimes think she can read my mind. (Seriously. How else would she know exactly what I'm talking about when I say something along the lines of "Remember that one movie? The one with the actor in it, that guy with the hair? What was it called?" Fairly sure she actually got the name of the movie that time, too... Scary.) Entirely on the other end of the spectrum, you have theater friendships. Now, I don't know if it's different between actors, but tech to actor, or even tech to tech, tends not to work. I've done three plays in Central Oregon now, and the pattern is pretty clear. I started with Steel Magnolias. We had a fabulous time, we all wound up pretty close (I've never seen so many exchanged gifts during a show), and we all swore up and down that we'd keep in touch. Okay. So far so good. The thing is, I'm still regularly in contact with exactly one person from that show, and I think that it's mostly because she was in the next show I did, and because she's directing the next thing I'm doing. While I do talk to Truvy every once in a while, it always winds up rather awkward and stilted, and we never really manage to talk about anything interesting. The next play I did was Harvey. Aside from Susan, the carry-over from Steel Magnolias, I don't talk to anyone from that cast, ever. Currently, I'm teching Cuckoo's Nest, and I can tell you now that I'm going to lose track of most, if not all, of them once it's over. The majority I don't really talk to now, so skipping over them, we have Turkle, Candy, and McMurphy. Turkle I'll hopefully keep in contact with, since he mentioned wanting to use me in a photoshoot. (He's a rather good photographer, so I'm good with it. Hopefully I can get some good shots of myself out of the deal.) Candy has been driving me home, which is part of the reason we actually talk, but we seem to have enough in common that we could theoretically keep in touch after the loony bin closes its doors. As for McMurphy... I don't know. Todd's a difficult one to categorize. I've known him since just before Steel Magnolias, technically (he helped set build, I helped paint), but I don't really know him any better than the rest of the loonies. The thing about Todd is, he's one of the most big hearted people I know. So yeah, he'll give me hugs (when I beg for them. At least he's not laughing at me for it anymore, or not to my face anyway...), and he's generally pretty nice, but when it comes right down to it? Once this is over, we're right back to "he knows me, but he doesn't recognize me..."
At this point, whatever was boring me had ended, so I just stopped writing. A few days after that (so, you know, yesterday.) I decided to condense all my friends down into categories.
Class one: People I've known forever, people I could tell anything.
Class two: What most people would refer to as "best friends." The people I would call if I needed a hug, or someone to talk to.
Class three: Immediate family. Pets.
Class four: Celebrities. People I don't actually know, but I use their movies to cheer myself up, so... It counts. Also includes fictional characters.
Class five: Distant family, and people adopted as family.
Class six: Long distance friends, people met at college, people I see once in a blue moon.
Class seven: Theater friends. Anyone met through the theater who doesn't fit into another category. People I enjoy spending time around, but no guarantees I'll see them after shows close.
Class eight: Facebook friends. Anyone I'm "friends" with on Facebook, but don't really talk to in real life.
Class nine: My head people. The voices in my head, who have gotten me through an awful lot.
So there you have it. The ramblings of a mostly unfiltered mind. Return to what you were doing, since I'm sure it was more interesting than me, and I will see you later... My friend.
~Charlotte the Pirate
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Stuck
So there was a meeting at 2nd Street the other day, with the purpose of figuring out a way of continuing as a theater. I went, mainly because I knew I'd never hear the verdict if I didn't, and sat through two hours of complete twaddle. One of the main suggestions floating around was turning it into a repertory theater. For those of you who don't know what this means (I didn't), essentially what it boils down to is that everyone who does anything with the theater is drawn from a pool of paying members. Therefore, if you are not a paying member of the theater, you don't act, you don't tech, you don't direct, etc. This is an exceptionally crap idea for a number of reasons. For one, what about people like Caleb? Caleb is one of the main in-chargy people at CTC, the other community theater, and therefore doesn't do a lot at 2nd Street. Because of this, though, he would never be able to so much as audition for a show, because he wouldn't be a part of the officially sanctioned pool. Then, of course, there's the people who get involved in theater for one show, purely on a whim. Their friend told them they should/they needed something to do nights/they wanted to try something new/whatever. The thing about a repertory theater, though, is that you can't just walk in off the street and audition. So not only are we limiting ourselves to only part of the Central Oregon acting community, but we're also guaranteeing that we'll never get new people in. Finally, you get the people like me. During the discussion, someone mentioned "We'll just have everyone pay $25 a month, which will cover rent for the building, heating, etc. Just 25 dollars each. 25 dollars is nothing." Um... yeah. About that. When I have money, particularly at the beginning of the month, I have a list. I buy a bus pass, if I don't already have one for the month. I buy cat food, since my cat needs to eat. I buy any clothing I have need of (replacement shoes for the ones whose soles have worn through, that kind of thing.) I buy groceries, since people keep telling me that I need to eat. I buy things like toilet paper, or shampoo, or toothpaste, as needed. Then, and only then, do I get to move on to buying things that I want more than need. (More often then not, lately, this has been tea. My excuse is that it's technically good for me.) All of this really doesn't work well with a 25 dollar a month fee to volunteer at a theater, especially when I can, technically, just go over to CTC. They may not be as nice over there, but at least I don't have to pay to be there. There were, of course, other options, most of which didn't require one to shell out cash in order to enter the building, the majority of which I don't understand fully enough to talk good or bad points. (Anyone know a business major who can explain things to me?) Suffice it to say, I am worried. I am afraid that this tiny, wonderful little theater is going to fall through the cracks, just after I found it. I truly hate this town, and I loved the idea of having someplace I could feel at home, if only for a few nights a week. The next meeting is in mid February, so I guess we'll see...
In other news, I finally managed to hear back from the people in charge of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at CTC, and have officially started attending rehearsals. I've seen the movie exactly once, and then only because I felt like I ought to see it before I started helping with the play (it's nice to have a grasp of the story before going into rehearsal, I have found.) so hopefully I won't get too disgustingly tired of this before the end, but we'll see. If nothing else, it gets me out of the house at night, keeps me reasonably entertained (it's a pity live theater can't have a blooper reel, we've already had some rather entertaining moments), and forces me to get at least some exercise most days. I'm also starting work soon (either tomorrow or Monday, I haven't heard yet) so I'll eventually have some cash for that tea habit of mine. It shall be my downfall that Townshend's Tea House is a three minute walk from the theater... I will definitely need the caffeine, though, since I'll be starting work at 7:30 every morning, and getting home from rehearsal around ten. Hopefully, though, I'll be able to take naps in the afternoon most days, since I'm sort of nocturnal at the moment and have issues falling asleep early, as evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this at one thirty in the morning.
I guess that's it. In the last month or so (when was the last time I updated this thing?) I have lost some friends, gained some friends, seen a couple fabulous movies, read some phenomenal books, and developed a taste for lychee and rose petal tea. I got Christmas presents before Christmas, on Christmas eve, on Christmas day, after Christmas, and long after Christmas. I found out that opening night of the next show I tech will be on my birthday. I had a really cool dream based on this fact, and woke to the disappointing knowledge that David Bowie will definitely not be showing up at 2nd Street, even for my birthday. I somehow wound up with a massive and deeply annoying computer virus, and have no idea how to fix it, and no money to pay someone else to fix it. I finally got around to putting posters and pictures up on my wall. (Some of those pictures were a gift from my friend Shelby, who is amazingly talented and somehow managed to draw my head-people. Some others are from my friend Shannon, who is also amazingly talented and gave me prints of some of my favorite pictures that she's taken. I loveds my friends.) I gave out spell candles to my friends for Christmas, and got just about every reaction possible when people opened them. (Helen, you definitely win for my favorite. ^-^) The good in my life, amazing though it may seem, currently outweighs the bad. Here's hoping it stays that way...
Goddess bless,
~Char
In other news, I finally managed to hear back from the people in charge of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest at CTC, and have officially started attending rehearsals. I've seen the movie exactly once, and then only because I felt like I ought to see it before I started helping with the play (it's nice to have a grasp of the story before going into rehearsal, I have found.) so hopefully I won't get too disgustingly tired of this before the end, but we'll see. If nothing else, it gets me out of the house at night, keeps me reasonably entertained (it's a pity live theater can't have a blooper reel, we've already had some rather entertaining moments), and forces me to get at least some exercise most days. I'm also starting work soon (either tomorrow or Monday, I haven't heard yet) so I'll eventually have some cash for that tea habit of mine. It shall be my downfall that Townshend's Tea House is a three minute walk from the theater... I will definitely need the caffeine, though, since I'll be starting work at 7:30 every morning, and getting home from rehearsal around ten. Hopefully, though, I'll be able to take naps in the afternoon most days, since I'm sort of nocturnal at the moment and have issues falling asleep early, as evidenced by the fact that I'm writing this at one thirty in the morning.
I guess that's it. In the last month or so (when was the last time I updated this thing?) I have lost some friends, gained some friends, seen a couple fabulous movies, read some phenomenal books, and developed a taste for lychee and rose petal tea. I got Christmas presents before Christmas, on Christmas eve, on Christmas day, after Christmas, and long after Christmas. I found out that opening night of the next show I tech will be on my birthday. I had a really cool dream based on this fact, and woke to the disappointing knowledge that David Bowie will definitely not be showing up at 2nd Street, even for my birthday. I somehow wound up with a massive and deeply annoying computer virus, and have no idea how to fix it, and no money to pay someone else to fix it. I finally got around to putting posters and pictures up on my wall. (Some of those pictures were a gift from my friend Shelby, who is amazingly talented and somehow managed to draw my head-people. Some others are from my friend Shannon, who is also amazingly talented and gave me prints of some of my favorite pictures that she's taken. I loveds my friends.) I gave out spell candles to my friends for Christmas, and got just about every reaction possible when people opened them. (Helen, you definitely win for my favorite. ^-^) The good in my life, amazing though it may seem, currently outweighs the bad. Here's hoping it stays that way...
Goddess bless,
~Char
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