Rumpleteazer

So. How long has it been since I've been on this thing? A while, I'm pretty sure... So here's what's bugging me this time (isn't that always how it turns out. I don't remember the last time I wrote happy stuff... Oh, well.)

I recently caved and joined the community of role-players on Facebook. (Not that kind of roleplay. Get your mind out of the gutter, child...) It seemed like a cool idea at the time, for a couple of reasons.
One: No one really talks to me.
Disclaimer time: that's not strictly true. Shannon, Griff, Shebby, Cally when she has time, etc. I do actually talk to people, far more than I used to. But. I'm speaking only of Facebook right now, simply because I can.
Two: The role-players are, with a very few exceptions, far more entertaining than the real world people I'm Facebook friends with.
Again, speaking about Facebook. Geeze...
Three: Some days I'm just plain tired of being me, and want to pretend to be someone else for a while.
No disclaimer here, that one is just flat truth.
Four: I love the character I chose. Seriously, she's all adorable and fluffy and stuff...

"So what's the problem?" (I hear you yell...)
The problem is that I am a T.S. Elliot character stuck in a land of Marvel and D.C. Which is all very well and good, until you realize that nobody knows who Rumpleteazer is. So no one talks to her, and she doesn't really fit in anywhere, and... Crap. Suddenly I'm right back where I started, huh?

So what do I do? I talk to people, who either reply or they don't, and if they do, I'll continue talking to them. I write bits and pieces of stories, mainly for myself, to explain Teazer's past. I watch as characters move from house to house, mingling together, while I... sort of hover in the aether, actually. And, slowly, I learn to communicate with people. Because Charlotte? Yeah, she's not so good at that. I think one of the things I love most about Rumpleteazer is that when she's sad (which is a lot, really. I'm pretty mean to my characters, even when they're only borrowed) she can cry, and if there's someone else around, she can let them see her cry, and let them try to comfort her if they're so inclined. I've never been able to do that, and I envy her the ability. Through Teazer, I can talk to people I don't know, and I can see the world (or a world) through the eyes of someone who can reach out to people. And I think that's good for me... sorta.

Did this post have a point? Not really. If anything, it was a way for me to justify hanging on to Teazer for a while longer. And possibly as a method of explaining why I'm almost never on Facebook anymore.

In short (too late) sometimes I wish I could step over into the world of the role-players. I wish that I was brave enough for Teazer to be brave enough for her to be able to talk to people, more so than she has been. I wish I didn't need a hypothetical cat to make me feel brave. I wish that I could just end this entry, instead of dragging it on and on and on... Well, one wish can come true, anyway.

Goddess bless,

Charlotte