So, I've got a story.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Brittany. She had two little brothers (names not relevant to this story), a mother and father, and several grandparents. Like any other little girl (we assume, anyway) Brittany went through phases, in her behaviour and speech. At one point, she was saying "Oh, my gosh." A lot. Not really a big deal, right? A little annoying after a while, sure, but basically harmless. Not so much. You see, this little girl's maternal grandmother was very christian. Brittany's parents had been raised to different religions, and the topic didn't come up much at home, so all that Brittany knew of religion came from going to church with her grandparents when she spent time with them during the summers. (More on that in another post... someday.) Now one day, Brittany's grandmother had called the family, just to chat and catch up. She talked to Brittany's mother first, and then the phone was handed over to Brittany. Just before this, though, the girl was informed that she was not to say "oh my gosh" to her grandmother. She was confused, but agreed. She made it through several minutes of conversation with her grandmother, and then tragedy struck. One of her brothers came down the hall wearing heels and a large floppy hat, and Brittany's immediate reaction was an automatic "Oh, my gosh." Her grandmother didn't comment on it, and the girl barely noticed. Later, however, she would ask her mother why she wasn't supposed to say that to her grandmother. Brittany's mother told her that because of the grandmother's religion, the phrase "oh, my gosh" would be offensive, seeing as it was a small step away from being "oh, my god." Brittany accepted this, and learned to censor herself while around her family. But she would forever worry that her grandmother hated her for letting an "oh, my gosh" slip on the phone that once.
True story. And the thing is, I think that may have been the beginning of my inability to be "myself", whoever that is. I am a different person depending on who I'm with. There are things I would never say to some of my friends that I don't think twice about when I'm with other friends. And I've noticed recently that the things I laugh at when I'm alone differ vastly from what I'll allow myself to find funny when I'm with people. More than that, I really like to read, and I try to have a book with me at all times. Depending on who I'm going to see, the books I carry will change, to the point where I'll start a new book and read two at once for the length of time that I'm around people, just to avoid them seeing what I'm actually reading. So, I've a question. Am I the only one that does this? How about to this extent?
Oh, and I'm still pretty sure my grandmother is convinced that I'm going to hell. My comments to her have gotten a smidge stronger than "gosh", though...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
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I definitely censor myself around my family. Not always to great effect, but I try.
ReplyDeleteI also do the different "me" around different people. I think I do it less than I once did though. I am filling out who I am more and as a consequence I have a harder time making friends because I am not willing to change myself as much or to pretend I'm something I'm not as much anymore. I am me (geek, nerd, short, fat, book worm, weird-o, camera-happy-tourist, what-have-you) and if that's not okay, then I can be polite, but we will never be friends (by my definition that is).
I don't think I've ever started a new book just for someone else though. I only hide my romance novels from you and my dad and brother because I don't want to be made fun of for a guilty pleasure, even if it does kill brain cells.
This does make me wonder how much you hide around me...